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The unicorn woman is a mythical creature. The full package of beauty, bisexuality, and a willingness to fulfill you and your partner’s polyamorous desires. The other thing about unicorns? They are notoriously hard to find, hence the moniker. But lo and behold, here you are looking for one anyways. So how does a couple go about finding a unicorn?

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First of all, it depends on what kind of unicorn you’re looking for. Couples who are interested in opening up their relationship to a third can vary greatly in their ideals and boundaries. To simplify your search I’m going to divide these couples into two basic categories. Firstly, couples seeking a unicorn to join them for a threesome, one time or ongoing. The other camp for my example is couples who seek a unicorn for a polyamorous relationship. Everyone has their own rules, but these couples may even be seeking a woman who will forgo all other dating outside the relationship, mingling only within the triad. A unicorn indeed!

In both examples my advice is led by my belief that to be successful in dating, or even just while looking for hookups, our best bet is to expose ourselves to as many potential partners as possible. And while you may consider anyone to have “potential”, in this instance I recommend seeking out unicorns when and where they are actively searching for couples. Yes, this is a real possibility, not some over-the-rainbow wishful thinking! Otherwise, you will have a hard time identifying the jewel you seek.

How To Find a Unicorn for a Threesome

Set up the Rules with Your Partner

While discussing boundaries with your partner may not find you a unicorn, it is essential in order to pull off this threesome successfully. Do not skimp on a solid conversation with your girlfriend or boyfriend about expectations, sexual limits, and emotional concerns before embarking on your search.

Read: Threesome Rules to Keep Couples Happy & 3 Rules for Threesome Perfection

Go Where The Unicorns Go

You can try the old-fashioned route of hitting bars and clubs as a couple. Many a threesome has been had after striking gold with the perfect combination of intentions, flirting, and cocktails. But finding a unicorn this way is really a crapshoot.

What works better is joining a threesome site where you can create a couples account. FindaThreesome.com is the biggest, but newer players like 3somedating.com are becoming popular as well. These sites are a unicorn utopia because you’ll find women who are actively looking to meet couples. Plus you get the added bonus of being able to anonymously look through pictures and profiles with your partner from the comfort of home. Online threesome hunting with your lady actually sounds like good foreplay, no?

Be Open To Spontaneous Possibilities

While threesome dating and hookup sites are probably your best bet these days, the truth is that sometimes opportunities come out of nowhere. This is why “the conversation” is so important. If you’ve already had the talk with your partner, and you are both ready and willing to proceed, then something magical will happen. You are now prepared and able to act when a unicorn crosses your path, and that alone makes a threesome much more likely. Be open to possibilities and you will even start to develop a sense for when a threesome may be an option.

How To Find a Unicorn for a Relationship

Time + Patience + Open-mindedness

If you are considering adding a third to your primary relationship, be prepared for lots of honest discussions, boundary setting, and patience. Finding that perfect unicorn to join you both in a union where everyone feels satisfied can take time! Your search may lead you online or out in the wilds, but always be open to considering potential partners that may not match your initial expectations. You many not always recognize a unicorn right away.

Look for Unicorns Seeking Poly Couples

Why go unicorn hunting when you can let them come to you? Believe it or not, there are some unicorns frolicking around out there that would love to be part of a polyamorous triad. While a unicorn may not always know they are a unicorn, (until you and your other convince them with your charming ways), some potential thirds are picking their way through the hay stack just like you are. Consider looking for local events where you can mingle with other poly people, or check out an online haven for open-minded, sexually liberated candidates like PolyamoryDate.com.

Put Yourselves Out There

If you do decide to take advantage of threesome dating or polyamory sites, be sure to put your best selves forward. There can be a lot of competition from other couples who hope to attract the women who are hot, bisexual, AND sane to enter into a triad with. Do add flattering photos, be upfront about what you’re looking for, send genuine messages, and stay active on the site.

Read: What to Include in Your Polyamory Dating Profile & Profile Writing Tips for Poly Couples

Happy Unicorn Hunting!

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